Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
