dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
