its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
