She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
