I'm gonna have a badass scar
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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