Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
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People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.