Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome