We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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