On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
