Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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