We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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