no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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