we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
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