Cold hands, warm shart.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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