he was CRYING into my vagina
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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