she kept yelling 'call me bella'
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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