if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
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Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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