Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
its not stalking. its research.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
