i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm too high and old for this...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
