Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My penis needs a shock collar
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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