I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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