And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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