i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
