But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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