My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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