Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
