Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
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I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize