Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
