Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize