we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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