i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sorry about my life...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it