I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.