you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.