apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We have started to decorate penises.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.