But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
