I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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