I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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