he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm both gender and math confused
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
