My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
