Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
