Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
