Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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