i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
