I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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