I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
