Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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