i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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