Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I want a musical about memes.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
