I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
