I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
