DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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