we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize