I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
