Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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