I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
