I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
