I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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