I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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